Monday, 6 July 2015

5 Ultimate Gym Tips

So I do frequent the gym, on occasion. I have written about this before. However, I wanted to share with you some of the hints, tips and tricks that I have learned along the way that make me a much better gym patron. I'm a great believer of learning from other people's mistakes, so with that in mind I have listed my 5 top tips here. You can learn a lot.

So without further ado....

* Gyms have HOT PEOPLE in them. And by that I don't mean just temperature-wise. There will be young men and women with various body-parts on display short-shorts on and pecs on display. DON'T stare directly at them. There are mirrors all over the gym, you can look at them in there, but only for three seconds maximum. GET ON WITH YOUR WORK-OUT LOVE, FEEL THE BURN!

* Bras are important, if you are a female of course. ALWAYS wear two bras and NEVER wear a push-up bra. You WILL bounce right out of that bad-boy and that is not going to be fun. *BOING!*

* Have somewhere to put your stuff. MP3 players should be stored in your jacket or shorts pocket. Don't put them in the top of your leggings. They might slide down and land in the gusset of your knickers, then as you sneakily try to remove it you'll get spotted by Random Man as your hands fumble around the front of your undercrackers.

It's not a good look for you.

* You might lose weight as you train more and more. This might result in your clothes becoming loose. Do downsize your clothes. Otherwise you might end up with your knickers falling down on the treadmill, you'll have to emergency stop to pull them up through your leggings. It will look odd and you will be embarrassed.

* Don't get too lost in your music. If you shout "HARLEM, HOLLYWOOD, JACKSON MISSISSIPPI!!" dead loud in the gym people will again look at you like you're weird. Just mime it, it makes things much simpler.

I hope you have enjoyed these essential life tips. Go and have fun at the gym. Just be aware of all of the above and nothing can go wrong for you.



  1. I thought my suggestions of what went wrong were much more you. Theses are every day mishaps for you ;)

  2. Re: Getting lost in your music - miming is fine, but what about doing jazz hands? ;) x

  3. I have never set foot in a gym. The thought terrifies me! x


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