Monday, 15 June 2015

The Kids are WEIRD

They're alright, the kids. I love them loads. But they are weird. All three of them. Weird in their own little strange ways. The way they act, what they say, how they interact with each other. I'm practically 100% sure that your kids are weird too, in their own way. It would be boring if we were all the same wouldn't it.

Here are my kids weird.  I am sure they will love to look over this when they are bigger. Their weird is my weird and all together it equals our normal.

Bonkers, the lot of them. No idea where they get it from.

Emily (aged 11)

* Mimics Rosie's two-year-old toddler talk and composes her sentences the way that a baby would, on occasion (to be fair, I engage in this too.) Likes dancing in supermarkets and stuff. This has resulted in her dancing in Aldi Car Park, arms and legs flailing, and when looked at with a questioning frown, she says "You liking-a-my-dancing ARE YOU MUMMY?"



Dinner-time school lesson questions:

* "Mum how would you draw a penis? Like, scientifically?"

* "Do you call it testes, testicles or balls?"

Rosie (aged 2)

* Has begun to adopt an American accent at times, esp. when singing. Just the other night she was in bed and I could hear her warbling

"I'm too hot, hot DAYAM, call the PO-LICE and the FIRE MAYAN"



* Doesn't like boys. If she sees a boy, say on the same climbing frame she will just tell said boy to move. "You leave me and my sister alone, BOY!" I've tried to tell her boys are OK but she's having none of it.

* "Mummy I've spilled milk on my feet." She hasn't. It's urine, in another failed potty-training episode.

Alice (aged 3)

* Comes downstairs every night after being put to bed. Sheepishly opens the door and says "I've got some good news...and some bad news..." No-one knows what the news is because she just says "Erm...erm...." and then we send her back to bed.

* Clever and likes everything to be "gendered." I don't know why and I have stressed to her that girls and boys are equal - so she knows this. However, tonight she declared that "Girls do nice trumps and boys do stinky farts." To be honest, I let that one slide...

* Wants a brother. I've told her no chance - it is biologically impossible for us to have more children now and we have three, it's enough for us - the noise is immense. Have told her she can have a boy doll. "NO I want a REAL BROTHER with a REAL FACE." She asks this almost daily.

* Asks awkward questions. "Mummy what is imagination?" *baffled*

* "MUMMY WHY ARE YOU WEARING A NAPPY?"



Bonkers.

4 comments:

  1. Brilliant! This made me laugh out loud! I'll admit my kids are weird but I love it, adds comedy value to my day :)

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  2. hahaha! They sound awesome! This made me laugh out loud.....Life would be so boring without kids :)

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  3. They sound like typical embarrassing kids to me! x

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  4. They're the good kind of weird! Laughed a lot at this!!!!! xx

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