Go on, you can say you won't to all of these - but I am telling you now - you will do these. (And if you don't YAY YOU here's a shiny gold medal...) So without further ado - have a read, go on.
* You will definitely use your finger as a tissue at some point (sorry)
* Microwave chips will be your friend (on occasion)
* You will tell lies to your child like "Peppa Pig is dead" to stop them dashing to the Peppa Pig supermarket ride (Harsh - this was one of Warren's not mine.)
* The toilet is also your friend. You can hide in there
* Your personal grooming will suffer. In my case, I have hair and fashion issues...
* Your new nightclub is Asda or B&M. You will dance in the aisles. I promise.
* You will be irrational. Last week I found myself clutching the lava lamp and hiding in the kitchen - the kids had been gunning for it all morning and it had "smashed to smithereens" written all over it. I looked demented. See Exhibit A
* Crafts will be A Thing. Oh yes. You're going to spend late nights trying to making Rapunzel out of a potato too, I promise you that.
* You'll do all of this. And then you will forget ALL OF THE NEGATIVES.
Because your children are TOTALLY* worth it.
*apart from the hair situation - this clearly needs fixing, I have issues.