Thursday, 30 April 2015

Parenting Home Truths

I like to think I am pretty experienced at being a parent. I have lots and lots of advice up my sleeves (as well as tissues, baby wipes and other supplies.) Remember, everyone has advice for you and some of it you'll take - some you won't. Most of all, you'll learn as you go along. Below are my parenting home truths. Things that you WILL do.

Go on, you can say you won't to all of these - but I am telling you now - you will do these. (And if you don't YAY YOU here's a shiny gold medal...) So without further ado - have a read, go on.

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* You will definitely use your finger as a tissue at some point (sorry)
* Microwave chips will be your friend (on occasion)
* You will tell lies to your child like "Peppa Pig is dead" to stop them dashing to the Peppa Pig supermarket ride  (Harsh - this was one of Warren's not mine.)
* The toilet is also your friend. You can hide in there



* Your personal grooming will suffer. In my case, I have hair and fashion issues...



* Your new nightclub is Asda or B&M. You will dance in the aisles. I promise.

* You will be irrational. Last week I found myself clutching the lava lamp and hiding in the kitchen - the kids had been gunning for it all morning and it had "smashed to smithereens" written all over it. I looked demented. See Exhibit A


Exhibit A


* Crafts will be A Thing. Oh yes. You're going to spend late nights trying to making Rapunzel out of a potato too, I promise you that.


* You'll do all of this. And then you will forget ALL OF THE NEGATIVES.


Because your children are TOTALLY* worth it. 



*apart from the hair situation - this clearly needs fixing, I have issues.

5 comments:

  1. Finger/sleeve (mine) skirt hem (also mine) to wipe most things. Note to self *need to get a lock on bathroom door ;)

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  2. Ha ha, I can so relate here (though hoping my hair is better!) Sorry! ;)

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  3. You forgot, you'll also catch vomit in your cleavage (or is that just me?) x

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  4. I have used my finger as a tissue many times. I have also caught sick in my hand. Oh yes, go me. ALL THE GLAMOUR! x

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  5. Love this!Think I've done all of these in some shape or form and have definitely done tissue finger many times lol x

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