I haven't updated this blog about my studying for a while. Things are hectic. This course is demanding.
TMA 02 I scored a disappointing Pass 2. I haven't had a Pass 2 for AGES. TMA 03 was a high Pass 2. I was chuffed with that. I have pushed myself to the edge, the real edge - I am losing my marbles. I have had Pass 1 grades for three years on the run now. Whilst being pregnant, in labour, with new babies, changing jobs...I've done good. I'm at the point now where I am slowing down, winding down a little bit. There is not long left of my degree and I am looking forward to graduation.
Jesus, graduation. It's been six years since I started my degree. I am proper proud of my little self, but at the same time, totally focused on the next challenge. I can't wait to start my Masters. A new path, a new road for me to go down. I read and read and read. I soak it up like a sponge, and push myself to the limit.
I've applied for funding for my masters, and for a PhD. I won't get it. There will be hundreds of people competing. But still, I am now in the position where I can apply for things like this - I wrote a PhD proposal because I have ideas. I have learned a thing or two and I feel like I can do it. I just need more time, and as the kids get older I should have that time.
So - Open University course A327. Love it. It's brilliant. I'm currently doing the Cold War and I've been reading Stasiland by Anna Funder - definitely recommend it. The tales from people from the former GDR are simply fascinating and heart-breaking at the same time. I'm beginning to understand the correlation - democracy, fascism, communism. Revolution, change, consumerism. It's all there. The freedom of the Sixties and that overwhelming desire to change things for the good. Oppression and the East, under the guise of Marxist-Leninist economic policy - rigged elections and terror, defending the citizens from the imperialists. The writings of Meinhof now make sense and at the same time I doubt the Red Army Faction would have supported the hyper-surveillance tactics of the Stasi in the GDR.
You might wonder why I do history. It can be dry, and it can be difficult to read. I am not sure where I want to go with what I am doing. Not yet. I want to really make a difference with what I write and I will get there.
But it's still a long road and I am still an undergraduate. I think about writing something serious on my blog, I had an idea about writing about the subjects that I am interested in or more serious topics that cross my mind: politics, the history of the NHS, local issues, rape culture, prostitution... but then I feel like it's all a bit too heavy maybe I can't use this blog to practice my writing, and who would read that anyway? Do I need a new blog, do I change what I do?
I don't think so. It will all just merge into one big jumble.
For now I need to stick to getting my final exam done, finishing my last essays and look forward to holidays in the summer. If this blog is confusing at times, it is because I am wearing ALL THE HATS, lately.
Normal service may resume at some point, or it won't and things will totally change - whatever is normal anyway??