Thursday, 12 February 2015

The Chicken-Pox Report

I have a coffee stain on my top. My hair has not been washed since Monday and it is now almost Friday. I only left the house once this week and that was because we were low on milk and Rosie likes her "Milky-night-night" (her afternoon nap after milk.)

The babies have chicken pox. It is a "mild and common illness that most children catch at some point."

It's no big deal, I keep telling myself. As I rock back and forth and drink wine every night. Here is The Chicken-Pox Report.

Case 1:

Child Affected: Alice, aged 3

Affected Areas: Sparse outbreak. Here and there. Apart from the one in her eye, it's not a big deal

Observations: Likes to say "Mummeee" a lot. Over and over. Wants milk in the purple cup NOT THE PINK ONE. She doesn't want to get her own potty, you have to get it. Hit you on the head with a guitar and then laughed but you couldn't really shout at her because she is ill. Asked you why you have a fat belly and promised definitely not to scratch the pox. On a walk to the park pretended to have a pet dog that "DONE A POO!" and then pretended to use a poop scoop and put it in the bin. (You were secretly proud of this.) Isn't sleeping through the night. Climbs into your bed and lies on you sideways saying "Mummeee" over and over.

Case 2:

Child Affected: Rosie, aged 1 and a bit

Affected Areas: Everywhere. It is a big deal.

Observations: Has to come everywhere with you, even for a wee. Sits in your knee and says "Mummeee will you get me?" Even though you reassure her that you have actually 'got' her. Has pulled the baby wipes out of the pack x 10 this week. But you've let her because it takes her mind off the itch. Belted Alice over the head when Alice accidentally stood on her foot. Cried because she wanted to see her Nan, and on a brief walk to the park insisted on not holding hands and running into the mud. Sleeps through the night but jumps on your head in the morning asking for "Milky." Wants you to constantly sing "Wrecking Ball" and repeats things over and over until there is an action or response e.g. "Mummy I like cheese....mummy I like cheese...mummy I like cheese..."

"OK Rosie. You like cheese." End.

Overall: Situation has worsened over the course of the week. Cabin fever has settled in. Brief walks to the park are stressful and cannot take place when the babies have high temperatures. The rash is quite upsetting for all concerned. You count down the minutes until your husband gets in from work so he can "take over" only to find that the girls, like a lot of babies, want their mother when they are ill.

Prognosis: Good. All will be well in a few days. As long as the parent involved keeps a clear head and manages to forget the amount of work, study and personal hygiene time that may have been lost as a result of this period.

Chicken pox is proper rubbish. Maybe it's because I am being selfish and have so much to do, or maybe it's because there are two of them and it's hard work. Whatever it is, I think I deserve some sort of reward.

Like wine. Or cheese.

Or just my babies getting better soon.

1 comment:

  1. I am dreading the day chicken pox arrives in our house x


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