Thursday, 5 February 2015

I am a Fantastic Parent!

This is going to be my new mantra. You see, everywhere we look we are always trying to be better parents. There are products that will make us better parents, there are books, blogs, vlogs, advertisements...all telling us how to be better parents.

I'll be honest I am tired. I am tired of being nonchalant about all this and saying:

 "Look! I'm crap at crafting"

"Look! Rosie peed on the floor and I'm just going to leave it!"

These things are all true. (Especially crafting)

But when I read them back I feel like I am saying "Hey look. it's OK to be a bit of a rubbish parent." And honestly, this is not what I am saying. I am a bit tired of the bored, rubbish Mum look. The way I feel at the minute... (and this is rare, which is why I am writing it here) I am a bloody fantastic parent. Not in spite of all of these things, but because of them. Maybe we spent a long time making angels made out of old pads in bras, tying them with old wool and drawing weird smiles on in biro. Maybe we enjoyed it, and laughed at our efforts. Maybe I left the pee on the floor because at that moment in time I was too busy making food, sorting out the washing and clearing up rabbit-poo-shaped bloody raisins off the floor.

I love being a parent. I love being a bit of an idiot at times. I love making the kids laugh. I pretend to be a lion for them. I dance. I totally embarrass Emily in front of her friends because:

a) It's funny
b) The look on your daughter's friend's 11 year old face when you ask them to finish tiling your bathroom or they owe you £120 refund in cash is priceless.

I have made a little list in my head, the reasons why I am a fantastic parent. They are listed here below, not because I am bragging, but because I want to remember that as I grow older (and wiser) I am slowly coming to the realisation that my children are thriving. We all parent in our own different ways, and I don't always feel sure of how I am doing it. But for whatever reason, today I do.

Yay me.

Maybe you might like to make your own list. Then when you are battered by advertisements, products and advice telling you how to be the perfect parent, you can just think sod it. I'm perfect the way that I am, and I'm doing my best and that's that.

I am a fantastic parent because...

1. I have three children. They are 11, 3 and (almost) 2. I work and I am a student. That's not amazing. The amazing thing is that my house is so bloody clean. No hired help here! *polishes halo...and every other frigging thing in the house....*

2. I cook from scratch every* night and we eat together at the table every night.

*OK we have chippy teas on Friday. Sometimes Saturday. Sometimes both.

3. I am passionate about my children's education as well as my own. We read together a lot and I encourage them to be imaginative and to express themselves.

4. Erm...

5..... I think that's it. I don't have five. But three is good enough. I don't need to have a list of five, and I don't need to feel like I am playing catch-up with other parents. It's all in my head, it's all in their head. And what matters is here and now, and family and getting on.



7 comments:

  1. Three is good enough! I think my day is a rip roaring success if charlie goes to school and I remember to collect him. Skight fail Wednesday when he bought bsck one school shoe. So I told him to hop!! Top skills x

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  2. That is a totally excellent (and very funny) post!

    I so wish that more parents, mums especially, could just get a handle on the fact that they are doing fine. We have this idea pushed on us all the time from so many angles that we need to be better at this, better at that, doing things this way or that way and mostly it is just not true. I think it was the psychologist Carl Jung who said that the best parents are not the best parents or the worst parents, but the ones who are just good enough. What he was getting at is that 'healthy parenting' is natural, normal and honest and makes for the best, loving and realistic start in life for kids. 'Perfect parents' just create unrealistic expectations for their kids. Bad parents, well...

    You seem like just the right kind of parent to me!

    Thanks for a great - and actually quite inspiring - post. :)

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  3. There is no right way to parent - I wish everybody would just be OK with that get on with doing whatever they need to do. And, yes you are frigging fantastic Mrs ;) xx

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  4. The thing is we tend to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to those tweets or posts from what look like great parents doing perfect crafts, cooking amazing food from scratch and spotless homes. The truth is we are all great in our own way, lets face it we are all good at different things and if we were all the same the world would be a pretty boring place to live. I have teens and they know I will grow old disgracefully, embarrassing them when I can just to pay them back for the toddler years- they want to eat my home cooked dinners, they want to come and sit all together at dinnertimes and they can make me a mean cup of coffee..........surely I have done something right there :) so you just keep doing what you are doing and they will love you for it!

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  5. I really like this. Funny how we all feel things at a similar time. I sort of wrote a similar post this week. I wonder if the crap mum persona is getting a bit boring too but my blog is all about that so I hope not! We're all doing well enough though, you're right. And ditto to crafts. My NIGHTMARE! X

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  6. I've only been reading your blog for the last month and I am really enjoying it, you make me laugh out loud so thank you. Think you should give yourself lots of 'yays' - you have thriving kids, you work, you study, you laugh, you play, you cook AND you clean....very amaze-balls if you ask me :) xx

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  7. I love the bra-angels - or brangels if I may (little Brangelinas?) You are doing an amazing job and I can't believe your house is clean, plus you blog! It's totally either / or in my life. Must try harder. Oh wait, NO! I am already trying hard enough. I didn't miss the point of your blog, for it is a fantastic one, and you are a fantastic writer. xxx

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