Sunday, 25 January 2015

The Longest Drive

If our children don't go to sleep at a reasonable hour - we take them for a drive. Heating on full blast, quick trip around the block and they are snoring. 

However, this doesn't always work. Sometimes it can backfire, especially if you are driving more than one child. Alice and Rosie are 3 and (nearly) 2. Here is an example of how a quick drive around the block turns into the longest drive.

Right so you set off. Both children have their Frozen themed PJs on (they are EXACTLY the same, or there will be trouble) and their Hello Kitty night-gown cape things (these are also EXACTLY the same or there will be trouble.) You have also carefully placed their pink blanket across them - the warmth shared equally because otherwise... yep, there will be trouble.

So in any normal case study - they would be asleep in five minutes. You'd drive home pleased as punch and tuck them safely into bed, back downstairs, crack open the wine and stick Game of Thrones on (has Jon Snow been fully naked yet??)

But this is not a normal night. The girls are overtired, and what that basically means is that they are being complete arse heads, fiddling and farting about. There is no other way to explain it.

Here is what they do instead of going to sleep, in the back of car.

Blue flashing lights past the car
Alice: Mummy did you just see the fire truck?
Me: Ssssh. You have to go to sleep
Alice: But Mummy where is the fire truck going??
Rosie: Nee Naw Nee Naw

Driving past the frigging Golden Arches
Alice: Rose do you want McDonalds? Mummy can we have chips?
Rosie: I want Donald's
Me: Sssh now. It's closed.
Alice: Aww but everyone wanted chips. And now they can't have their chips.

Driving in circles, obviously.
Alice: Rosie look! There is our street!
Rosie: What??

General messing in the back seat
Rosie: Mummy my blankie! It is not on my feet!!
Alice: I'll do it for you Rosie.
Rosie: NOOoo! My blankie on my feet!!
Alice: Look Rosie, look at my toes!
Rosie: Look at my toes Alice!
Both sit giggling in the back like a couple of deranged mini Chuckie dolls


They have been quiet for ten minutes now. You look in the mirror. They are wide awake.
Alice: Rosie what would you like me to sing?
Rosie: Erm...erm...... Wrecking Ball
Alice: OK.. She clears her throat... I came in like a WRECKING BALL!!

#ffs
#fml

Gits


1 comment:

  1. I always insisted that we would NEVER take them for a drive if they weren't sleeping and instead, if we happened to be out int he car, and they fell asleep, it was just such a lovely treat! x

    ReplyDelete

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