Well anyway, I was great. I love The Apprentice, me. Lord Sugar is proper boss - I have this great business plan about loom bands - Frozen themes loom bands wrapped in a Kinder-style egg. Trust me, it's the future... anyway. I entered the whole "The Apprentice" process. Because that's what they call it, a process. What they mean when they say 'process' is a bad-ass ordeal.
Here is how I got on...
But whatever it was - someone definitely ballsed the costings up while Nick looked at us disapprovingly, all the while drawing doodles in his note pad.
Next we had to drive somewhere to sell some stuff. Definitely London, and we defo got stuck in traffic. My husband had phoned me and said the kids were driving him mad, they were on loud speaker - Alice was picking her nose and flicking it at Rosie, and Emily was singing 'Let it Go' full pelt. To be honest I was glad I was stuck in traffic with these two idiots either side anyway - bit of peace by comparison.
Next was the presentation. We were shit
Then it was BOARDROOM time.
It was a bit of a blur to be honest. Our team lost. Nick said that the major retail companies were concerned about "Kerrie's lack of facial expression... you seem to look like you have broken wind...all the time."
Them's Nick's words not mine. Bless him.
I bitched about the others for a bit. I even called them 'dicks' but it was no use.
I'd had it.
Lord Sugar was really nice about the whole thing. I explained my whole Frozen Loom Band Egg Surprise idea and I promised him I was the right candi
But my protestations were all for nothing. It suddenly dawned on me that my business plan wasn't very good. My face just didn't fit. And Karen Brady has infinitely better boobs than me.
And so...Lord Sugar said it...