I have long since realised that I am pretty weird. And I am not all that quiet about it either. It seems whatever I say, whatever I do - I can't help being a bit of a dick.
And now, I'm not trying to change it. I'm trying to embrace it. Trying to embrace the weird.
I'm never a picture perfect mother. But I didn't actually mean to tell the kids to stop being "fidgeting.... fannies" tonight over dinner, it just slipped out.
I'm not the perfect employee. I pinged a coffee stirrer across the room in a meeting once. I was only holding it, I swear.
On my first date with Warren I fell over in the street, he had to pick me off the floor.
Weirdness seems to just happen when I am about. I just expect it now. I assume it's partly me being a dick and partly circumstances. Like the whole walking around my home-town for twenty minutes looking for my house after getting off at the wrong bus stop.
And the time I bought the wrong door numbers for our house. I was four houses out.
I have a good sense of humour. But sometimes, these things that happen make me feel like I have this cloud that hovers over me.
But I've decided to just crack on, and not try and hide it. Because it's funny. And ridiculous. And embarrassing - but as I get older I care less, and I'm learning. I won't change. I'm just going to go with the weird and not kick myself down for it.
I'm learning to embrace my inner dick.