Friday, 3 October 2014

5 Reasons Brands Don't Want To Work With You

As a blogger I have fast become accustomed to the whole blogging scene. You can work with brands, run competitions, get paid to blog - whatever.

But sometimes, brands will not want to work with you.

I know this.

I feel your pain.


The PR Request hashtag can be brutal. You never get responses - I mean, what more can you do??




So anyway, after some fruitless attempts to work with brands and Top Companies, I am going to tell you the 5 main reasons that brands don't want to work with you.


1. You Fucking Swear

You just can't go around swearing all the time on your blog, I don't care who you are. You can't even replace the word fucking with frigging.

Drop the potty mouth, trust me.



2. You Are Not Respectable Enough

You're not projecting the image that they would like. A pretend video hoe talking about bonking and knickers is not what they will want.

This is incorrect
Try and be better. Or pretend to be someone else.


3. You Can't Use Social Media

You have to be on the frigging money with this shit. You can't have an age-old phone or tablet - get with the times, idiot.



4. Your Photography Skills are SHIT

Even when you only use the Auto setting.

Even when you are trying a spot of abstract photography.

This is shite


5. You Just Do Lists of 5

This is a crappy writing technique.


Pack it in.

26 comments:

  1. Did you really break the bed bonking? That's, ermm, well....
    Your photography is great. I mean, it's real - looks just like my house!

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    Replies
    1. Kate - the bed is broke, ergo we reckon that we can legitimately put it down to that... :)

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  2. Love this! You rock missus and I love your lists and your swearing!

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  3. :D On the nail as every Kerrie x

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  4. Your swearing is what makes me laugh, what does it matter if you don't get that stack of cheese, washing powder or orange frisbee. #prrequest

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  5. Thank you for making me laugh again - fucking excellent .....ummm there goes my sponsored posts then ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Penny in the swear-box for you missus! x

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  6. Ah shit that's why they won't work with me haha xx

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  7. 5 reasons I love Kerrie:

    1. She swears
    2. She takes disturbing pictures
    3. She uses the word 'bonking' a lot
    4. She swears blind (drunk) that she's not drunk.... when she is drunk..... drunk.
    5. She blogs in 5's

    drunk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha - I think I should blog drunk one day. Drunk vlog would be ace ha ha, but probably not a good example to anyone ever at all ... :) x

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  8. Curse! Now I know why! It is as I do lists of five! I ruddy love a list. Bah. I will never get that free buggy even though both my children are too old for one xxx

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha - I think in lists of 5, there always has to be 5 - in my mind it is a great writing technique... :) x

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  9. ha ha this is exactly why i'm fucked!!

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  10. I have snorted my way through this post! Cracking!

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  11. This is why I love your blog :) xx

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  12. I love this! Brands schmands! You are totally a blogging guru. xx

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