Thursday, 25 September 2014

On Saving Things For Best and Letting Yourself Go

"She's let herself go"

I hate this phrase. Sometimes I hear it in my head when I have scraped my hair back, leggings on, baggy top and odd socks - I'm only doing the school run, after all.

I thought it was no big deal, and in fact I found it quite amusing. I literally took two minutes to get ready in the morning. Showered, clean hair - not dirty. But just not done either.

I thought it would be OK. I'd just save my make-up 'for best.' I'd save my perfume 'for best'.

My nail varnish
My hair brushing
My wearing anything else other than leggings

Saving it all for best. Well, guess what - there is no best when you have children, nights out are few and far between aren't they, let's face it.



And so...I have been doing this 'letting myself go' thing for a long time now. I read on Twitter one of those bloody pain in the arse inspirational quotes and I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window. I have reproduced it here for you, in my own way.



What am I waiting for, really?

What am I saving my stuff for best for? I never did that before I had kids. You know what has happened? I got comfy. Not that there is anything wrong with comfy. But I'll tell you when comfy becomes a problem. Comfy becomes a problem when you are happy to wear a pair of thread-bare leggings and over-sized top almost EVERY day, and as long as your kids are fed and happy then that is all that matters, and you're not really bothered because you do have lovely clothes and use hair products...but only FOR BEST.

I have come to the slow realisation that somewhere in between having the kids and looking after the house and trying to be an good all-rounder in the mum-stakes, I have lost myself. I have lost what it is to be me, and yes reader, somewhere down the line I have 'let myself go.'

How did this happen? Why the frig are we talking about this? I thought it was funny? Did you think it was funny too? I thought it was hilarious and I also thought that this was normal. Don't get me wrong I am not a massive smelly scruff eating baked beans out of the can cold just yet. But really I am not far off. It is fine to put the kids first in everything, but I think I need to have a little word with myself. I think I need to sit and re-evaluate what is going on. If I haven't got the inclination to run a brush through my hair, whack some contact lenses in and trowel a bit of make-up on then really, I need to make some changes don't I.

I would show you the inside of my underwear drawer, because frankly it is an embarrassment. Do you know those belly-warmer knickers  that you wear when you are pregnant? Well I have not yet updated my knicker drawer, and that's all I have to say about that.

And so, I have made a promise to myself to make more of an effort. I don't need to be this faceless, busy 'thing' that just does 'stuff.' I can also try and take care of myself. I am not saving things for BEST anymore because now is probably BEST.  You never know what is round the corner and whatever it is I think I'd rather face it head on with a face full of slap, smelling like a BOSS and swishing my dress around.


*starts beauty/fashion blog*

Maybe.

28 comments:

  1. Sometimes though it isn't about saving it for the best, but about saving your own sanity, by letting go of some non-essential things. So you still get time for the essentials like getting the kids out the door on time vs being late to school but looking good. Don't you think?

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    1. True Monika. I agree with this too. But I think I have definitely fallen into habits that are not just for the practicalities. If I look after myself, I feel better all round and can get on better. That's not to say that I won't have 'comfy' days. :) x

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  2. There's definitely a balance to be struck isn't there :) X

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  3. I live in joggers and comfy tops in the house but would never wear them out of the house. Jeans, trainers and a top is standard for me, or leggings and a tunic top. BUT I have the days where my hair is down and I have basic make up on. Other days I will tie my hair back, clip my fringe out of my face and only have mascara on. I guess I have let myself go to some extent too but you know what? Sometimes there's more to life and those days where I scrape my hair back I am no less happy and no less comfortable than I am when I have my make up on. It's just a different day x

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    1. My ying and yang is all wrong Donna. I have no balance. I think I need to correct it to make myself feel good about myself again. Physically I have not changed that much over the years, but my lack of effort is VERY noticeable unless it is BEST, which is about twice a year. I am just not not wearing perfume because I am saving it for best because I don't even know when that best will be :) x

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  4. The telling remark is you thinking you have lost yourself. It's fine to be in leggings and baggy T's if that is you, but it sounds like it really isn't. You need to remain you, not selfishly, but in all sorts of ways for the kids too - to model that it is never good to lose yourself to serve others, because you don't want to watch them echo that in later years, to model that everyone is important, and because it isn't good for kids to always come first, they need to know that sometimes they come second, and that is fine, it doesn't mean they are not much loved, but that at that moment there is something more necessary to be done than to put them first.

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  5. OOh I am so like this. I save it and save it and save it....then I eventually get rid because I've never worn it / probably don't need it / have nowhere to use it! I like your version of the quote :)

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  6. Kerrie, this is so me! I didn't used to leave the house without make up on, hair done and a matching outfit, then I had kids.... while on maternity leave it felt ok to live in leggings and oversized tee's then the school runs came and it was 'only for ten mins', then back to work and I continued going around my business like a scruff...

    It's not about how you look (as who the hell cares!) but how you feel, and it's amazing how much straightened hair, a bit of lippy and a dress that shows you have a waist can make you feel! I'm going to start doing 'best' more often, thanks for this love! xx

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    1. Exactly Jen. I don't care what other people think about how I look - I care about how I feel. I'm going to the shops today, so I'm going for 'best' today ha ha . I feel the world of difference - everything seems different to me - a bit more like it used to before I got comfy :) x

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  7. I think so many mums fall into this cycle - like another commenter said, I come home, change into the scruffy stuff so I can really relax and that feels good... but then there's a danger that it'll just slip over into 'popping' to the shop etc I've forgotten how to wear jewellery and make up because it all just seems like too much effort - I desperately need this kick up the bum! You did look super amazing at the MADS by the way :)

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    1. I think the MADS made me realise that I felt good about myself, the way I look for the first time in a long time. Usually I just don't really care, but the fact that I felt so much better made something click. More 'best' from now on, I promise myself :) x

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  8. This is so true and a good reminder to enjoy every second of life as you never know what's around the corner. I always feel a million times better about myself if I put a bit of makeup on just to go to the supermarket as I dont get out very much at the moment #preggoproblems

    xXx

    #sharefriday

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  9. Right so I am now sitting here in my wedding dress (gaping open) and have my hair in ringlets. Frig saving things for best I'm wearing the most expensive thing I own every day now. Hell yeah! xxx (I miss my stained tee-shirt though)

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    1. Ha ha I went to B&M today in 6 inch heels and a party dress, fake eyelashes all over the place... maybe ha ha :) x

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  10. I can understand as a mum it's easy to fall into this. But it's also easy just anyway... I had a bit of a rough patch (putting it lightly) last year and I felt too that I had lost myself.
    Whilst I addressed the other issues, I decided to try and help myself a bit. I got a make over and a hair cut (not expensive ones either) and treated myself to some make up the MUA had shown me. This definitely did help. I now still don't wear make up every day but I feel more confident in doing so and wear it more often now!
    I hope you find yourself soon :) Just doing little things for yourself like a home pampering session can help :) x

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    1. It is all too easy isn't it - pampering is on the list for me! x :)

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  11. yay nothing wrong with looking after yourself for once my love. Get down to Primani for some frilly knick knacks x

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    1. This is the correct answer Emma - I am about to update my knicker drawer, I promise! x :)

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  12. I never save anything for best, that way, every day is just a little bit nicer. A friend once told me that it takes the same amount of time to put on a nice outfit as it does your scruffs. True really, it takes the same amount of time to get dressed whatever you're wearing. Go on! Treat yourself x

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    1. Thanks Rachel - makes sense to me! x :)

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  13. You shouldn't feel bad if you don't want to dress up :) for me personally I like putting on my makeup and getting dressed as it makes me feel really ready for the day. But if it stopped being fun I'm not sure I'd bother either!

    Jasmine // Magpie Jasmine // My Blog Giveaway

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  14. I am being forced to scrub up having started teacher training - made me realise how cruddy my wardrobe is!!

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  15. I remember the days back in August when I could save it all for best. My make up would last ages, good thing really because it isn't cheap but now I'm in college I can't do that. All the 16 year olds with their flawless faces and I can't spot a dark circle under those eyes anywhere. I have to trowel on the make up just so I don't scare them. This has resulted in me running out of make up.

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  16. I definitely hear where you're coming from. I don't like the term 'let herself go' at all and I'm all for being comfortable but after my second I decided not to buy new clothes until I was back to my normal size. When I finally decided that yes, I did need new clothes even if in a bigger size (or two) I was amazed at how very much better it made me feel! I had been wearing saggy jeans and frumpy t-shirts and just having jeans that fit properly was fantastic. At the very least treat yourself to some new knickers - you deserve it!

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  17. Ah we all go through phases where other stuff is more important than spending hours infront of a mirror- mainly sleep! I bet you don't look anywhere as near as scruffy as you think you do! But I do think there is a lot to be said for taking some time for yourself now and then. I always give myself 15 mins in the morning to do my face and hair- often with kids hanging off me but at least it helps me feel better about myself!x x x

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