Wednesday, 24 September 2014

5 Things I Learned From Award Ceremonies

Specifically the MAD (Mum and Dad) Blog Awards which were held at the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington in London last Friday.

I wasn't up for an award, I was there because we had been tasked to do a 'secret bloggy thing.'  I was so excited and terrified at the same time - hey, I'm proper Northern and London is a scary place for me!

So, true to form I am going to list 5 things that I learned from this amazing award ceremony.

1. You Can Polish A Turd.

Usually I look like this:

But thanks to Boden Clothing, a shit-load of make-up and some pretty intense hair straightening - I felt great and looked like this

My fringe is about 20% shit but you can't have everything can you - Photo courtesy of

The getting-ready process was great. I was sharing with Colette and Danni at the Citadines in Kensington. (oo-er very posh) I supplied wine and basic idiotic behaviour and I also managed to get a blimp of Colette's boobies, and Danni nearly flashed her kecks on the escalators. WINNER.

So Colette and Danni helped polish my turd-y self - Colette told me how to sort my hair, and Danni gave me some false eyelashes. I was all like What. The. Frig. Because I don't really go anywhere, and I thought I might use my eyelashes to fly to the venue.

I might be a bit naked on this photo but we're all friends here on this blog aren't we...

2. Mingling with Top Celebs is Boss

The ceremony was hosted by Dr. Ranj - come on you know the song - off CBeebies. He was absolutely fricking hilaripants. He was a bit drunk and kept going off script talking about 'exploding vaginas' and 'massive tits'. I was howling.

Also, Pikachu was there. What's not to like?

How many photos did I need of me with Dr. Ranj?? It was for the kids,  obvs.

3. Getting TOO Drunk Is Bad

ALL THE WINE. It was just ALL THERE. It would have been rude not to drink loads, what can I say? Well... I kept saying "Look at me being all sober..." I really thought I was sober, but thinking back, I wasn't. I remember nipping to the loo and then dancing back, you know like Alan Partridge, side steps and everything - bar staff were laughing. 

I also thought the cheesecake was ice cream and was thinking "shit eat it quick before it melts."( But don't tell anyone about that because I don't want to seem like an uncouth commoner.)

Check out me and Katie who writes Hurrah For Gin. We had nothing to do with the wooden seating plan getting knocked over. I promise.

Don't think this conversation happened???

4. I Can Dance!

We did the flash mob dance - here are some photos, (all credit to TomArber) and a little video too.

5. I Definitely Want To Go Back Next Year

Danni won Best Pregnancy Blog

We ate gorgeous food, had a great night and generally just loved every minute of it. These awards really celebrate some of the best, entertaining and most influential and inspiring blogs, and I am very proud to have been there this year.

Only problem is to go again I have to either a) be in a flash mob dance, but that has been done now or b) get nominated for an award.

Shall I get pregnant and go for Best Pregnancy Blog??? :)


  1. Was great to flashmob with you; I just love that photo of you dancing with the most excited face!! You scrubbed up more than pretty well I'd say; I don't think Dr.Ranj has got the restraining order sorted yet, has he?! ;)

    1. Ha ha great to dance with you - loved your dress Steph! :) x

  2. You looked fabulous -thanks for your awesome company x

  3. I am currently making a rabbit out of toothpicks to ensure I am up for best craft. Together? We can frickin sweep the board bab.

    1. Defo. In it to win it next time lovely! x

  4. Looks like you had an amazing evening!! Well done with the flash mob thingy x

  5. You looked stunning! I well reckon you could get nominated for an award...?

  6. This post is AWESOME! I love that photo of you and Katie - my two favorite drunken bums! x

  7. Aww hun how did I miss you!!! x You looked stunning :))) x especially for a well polished turd… JOKING! heehee xx

    1. Ha ha - I can't believe I missed you - I saw you on the photos and I was like "GAH how did I not see Wally??" :) x

  8. Love this post Mrs and you look proper hot!!! Had a top night and am glad i see we actually did chat at the end as all i can remember is saying hi at the start! I hope i wasn't being a tw*t.
    p.s I am funnier!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. We talked for ages, but I honestly can't remember what about. I don't think you were being a tw*t. I might have been, dunno. Maybe the conversation went just like I imagined in the photo "I'm funnier.." "No I'M funnier.." ha ha :) x


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