Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Time... A Sleep-Deprived One

"Jesus, she's always banging on about having no time, how does she even find time to write about time the frigging nut-case."

Yep. I can hear what you are saying! Or perhaps it is the voices in my head - I am so tired I don't
know where I am up to sometimes. I got in work when it was really dark, turned back to the door convinced someone had followed me in, jumped, shrieked and legged it to my office.
Driving home from work my mind wanders and, studying A326 Empire with the OU...thinking about what I have learned, mulling it over in my head. I see Ghengis Khan in the clouds with all his Mongol warriors heading straight for me...
I got in from work, opened the door in the dark, saw a MONSTER in the corner of the room coming to get me. OK, it was Rosie's walker, so I just made a cup of coffee and started cooking tea.

Alright. I'm exaggerating slightly. But my point is that we are struggling. We have no time. We have no sleep. We have too much on.

I don't really have a problem with being busy. I take on more and more, you know that. It's what we reap from our hard work that bothers me. It is very little. It seems that we earn just enough so that we do not have to rely on state benefits, but not enough to cover the cost of daily living and reward ourselves for our work. The cost of living is just unbelievable. I actually have a shopping spreadsheet now that I am going to work from to try and make sure that we can set money aside for things that we enjoy as a family instead of paying £8 for Christmas crackers (the ones you put with cheese.)

Seriously, this is what they cost.

Add to that the issue of winter colds and babies not sleeping through the night and we just have a very tired, tetchy and strained household at the minute.  I had three hours sleep on Sunday night. That song, Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat plays in my head.

My life is like that but with different words. Only I'm not too sure what the words are and because I am so tired I can't even make them up.

I am looking forward to Christmas, to time with my family. To time when I'm not pushed and pulled in every direction. To time where I can cuddle my girls knowing I don't have to be anywhere or do anything. I want to sit in a onesie and drink slightly too much Rioja with my husband and scoff posh crisps while he pretends to listen to me as he watches Match of the Day.

Too many deadlines.

Not enough time.


The alarm.

Time to go.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh! I know this so well. Every morning I promise myself an early night and it never materialises


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