Wednesday, 31 July 2013

A Letter to My 15 Year Old Self

So, this is a topic that I have seen loads on other blogs and it's a beautiful thing to blog about. However, I've changed mine a bit to make my 15 year old self get it - it's in bullet points. No, I wasn't thick, but if it didn't come in Just Seventeen bullet point happy-go-lucky comic sans print then I wasn't interested. So, here it is. I don't think my 15 year old self would have listened to me anyway, but here goes...

1. You are not FAT.

And even if you are a bit overweight, who cares. You might get picked last in P.E and have a big bum and no boobs but so what?? You'll either grow out of it, or just GO ON A DIET like every other frigger. STOP WORRYING.


Who cares if you wrote a poem to someone you adored, and he read it out loud to his mates?? Who cares if you wrote a lesson timetable out and put love-hearts in every box you had a lesson with him? Or if you got your mate to ask his mate if he would go out with you. His mate said yes he would go out with you. And then you went and told everyone that you were going out with him. Then he came up to you and said 'Stop telling people we're going out...WE'RE NOT.'

You are also never going to marry Mark Owen. My sincerest apologies for breaking that to you. 

Babe (babe!) - I'm BACK AGAIN...

3. Learn what a BOYFRIEND is...

Are you going out with him? Where are you going?... No, seriously, where are you going??


Do you have to do a presentation in school? Sit in your room and cry because you know you're going to go red and then when you go red EVERYONE will point and laugh INCLUDING the damn teacher?? Balls to that! Do a little blush and then carry on. Don't let your inner emotions and tendency to blush continue to inform the rest of your life and major life choices...and one day, you'll care so little about what people think that to blush you'll actually have to wear blusher. Seriously.


You know when your skin is this colour...

Yep I get my milk from Farmfoods, you can judge me

 Well, make up that's this colour...

Hmm NATURAL dark brown

...will look frigging stupid. Just don't do it. Step away from the bronzer, your skin will always be the colour of corned beef - ACCEPT IT.

OK then don't, just PLASTER IT ON...


erm....maybe it is??

Just 7 (seven) more years and I'll be Dr. McGiveron, hell YEAH


Don't shave your forearms. PLEASE don't. It'll make them grow back thicker and then you'll spend years thinking you need to continue to shave them, and then another few months realising that you just need to grow it out, and then it will fall out. Listen to me kid, I know what I'm talking about.


Remember when your Mum said smoking was bad, even though she did it herself? Yep, it is. Save yourself 6 YEARS of hassle over quitting by simply not starting in the first place...

When your Mum said 'Never lose what you are...being VIBRANT' - Embrace that. If a job/course/path or just a song on the radio drags you down then sack it off. We only live once on this earth, live every day to the full, cram lots in and live for the day. Shine. Always.

I just don't give a f*ck sh*t toss.TITS.


Hang on, didn't Baz Luhrman write that? GAH I can't link it because the copyright people will sue my arse.

So that's that. What would you say to your 15 year old self? NO SWEARING ALLOWED!

*I have no affiliation with any brands in this post*

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry you will move away from this dead end town and no one will know what you did at school :D


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