Sunday, 11 October 2015

5 Things Only Parents of Boys Will Understand

1. They have a penis Everything is a Boat/Plane/Helicopter

All empty boxes, upturned tables and toy chests are capable of being converted into male-based modes of transport.

A rocket to the moon!
2.) They have a penis Everything is rough and tumble

Boys enjoy wrestling each other to the ground until the other one submits. Honestly they can be such a handful at times!

3) They have a penis Meal times are so messy!

Boys just don't care. Fish fingers on the floor, noodles in their hair. It's all a big game to them.

4. They have a penis. They are so MESSY!

I mean, you look away for one minute and your house is a wreck!

5. They have a penis Boys and Boys' Toys

They just love problem solving and building things. You can't stop them!

The point is - there is no difference between our boys and girls. Now and then it might make an amusing read, but essentially these gender disparities are the same difference. It is so important that we don't let gender define us. The boundaries of gender need to be bent and broken, so that my girls can grow up believing that, should they so choose, they can fly a plane. They can drive a train, become an astronaut or a wrestler, or whatever they like. They are not the second sex because they are girls - they don't have to feel that they are excluded from anything because I have made it so that gender is not an issue.

Equally, boys should not be socialised to believe that they are expected to act a certain way. Boys aren't necessarily more messy than girls, they are not any less emotional than girls, they don't need to be strong or silent or rough.

Why are we putting all of this onto our children from such a young age, and what do we get out of it? Why are we putting our kids into little boxes labelled "pink" and "blue" - how can we do this as parents and yet complain about gender inequality.

The only difference between boys and girls is a penis. 

And having one doesn't make you any better or worse than anyone else.

Friday, 9 October 2015


I am pretty weird.

You might have guessed that. I would say that I am intelligent, but sometimes, every so often I just completely go off an a tangent. So, here is this week's weird - I'm just putting what's in my head out there. Don't hate me haters.

1) My Phone Issue

My contract is coming up for renewal soon. I look at packages. I look at what I use. Then it dawns on me that I actually very rarely use the phone for calls or texts. I am a bit of a loner, I don't mean to be, it's just that well...the phone isn't EXACTLY ringing off the hook. Maybe be I don't stay in one place long enough. Maybe I am just a terrible person. Well, whatever. So, O2, here is your next campaign:

2) There is this Brogue obsession.

Oh my I love Hamble Oak Brogues from Clarks. They are £60, which is quite dear, but worth it - so I look on the reviews, see what other people think of them:

So I decide to write happyshopper75 an email. Maybe we could be mates and go stomping around together in our matching brogues, stopping for coffee or frozen yoghurt as we chat and laugh about old times. She likes Hamble Oak, I like Hamble Oak. I really don't see what could go wrong...

3) The Book Issue

I have like 356 books out of the uni library. OK, I think the actual number is 27. I can't help it. I pick them, then sellotape them back together if they are ripped. I put them all on my shelves. I don't WANT other students to GET them, and I feel ridiculously smug as I walk past them "YERS ARE NOT GETTING YER GRUBBY MITS ON THESE, KIDS" is what I don't say.

4) Rescuing an Ex-Greyhound

All of the AWWS for this. Those poor dogs, been running round like mentalists all their lives, chasing a fake rabbit that they will never catch. Come to my house and I will LOVE you. Look at Willie, he's gorgeous isn't he.

Willie is a great name too, my favourite word is "dick" so I think it would all work out just fine.

5) Making My Own Shoes

I want to decorate my own shoes, unique to me. So I just did it because I am BADASS and I don't care. And I need new shoes for my graduation.

So well...these are made of all of my history things I love, the Wall, propaganda posters, and copies of my degree certificate.

They are weird.

I am weird.

If you are weird give me a call and we can go out for cocktails and talk about Hamble Oak Brogues and Willie.

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